WASHINGTON—Unwinding after a very tense day as U.S. Transportation Secretary, Pete Buttigieg was reportedly overheard Friday telling a resistant proprietor, “I’ll let you know after I’ve had sufficient,” whereas attempting to blow off steam with one other spherical by means of a automotive wash. “Look, I’ll cease after I’m good and prepared, but it surely gained’t be as a result of some bozo in a jumpsuit cuts me off—I’m the top of the goddamn Division of Transportation, in any case,” stated the previous mayor of South Bend, IN, his pupils dilating and his phrases starting to slur as he threw money within the attendant’s face and instructed him to “depart it open.” “Higher make this subsequent one a deluxe wash, and don’t skimp on the suds this time. Hoo doggy, that’s what I’m speaking about! That scorching wax will put some hair in your chest! Let me get another undercarriage flush for the street. Higher but, let me purchase a wash for everyone.” At press time, sources confirmed Buttigieg had been thrown out of the institution after attempting to start out a battle with one of many giant rotating brushes.