CHICAGO—Outlining the small print of the person’s present coverage over the telephone Tuesday, a consultant defined to native 32-year-old Greg Tarlton that his medical insurance plan solely coated random hippopotamus assaults. “Your present advantages as a Gold HMO member entitle you to reimbursement for many dental, imaginative and prescient, main care, psychological well being, and emergency room bills incurred as a direct results of accidents sustained throughout an encounter with a hippo,” mentioned Jen Tisne, a coverage advisor for SentiHealth Companions, confirming that Tarlton’s plan included a $10,000 deductible and was restricted to in-network suppliers within the state of Illinois. “Within the occasion you undergo a collapsed lung or damaged rib after getting trampled by a hippopotamus that simply seems out of completely nowhere, we’ll cowl as much as 95% of your hospital bills. You’ll even be coated for any rehabilitative providers you might require after a completely grown, 2-ton hippo instantly rounds a nook, chases you down, and clamps down on one or each of your legs with its full chew pressure. Please observe that if our adjuster determines you provoked the assault or have been attempting to feed the animal a few of your protein bar, your declare shall be denied.” The consultant added that in areas the place there are identified to be hippopotamuses, corresponding to zoos or the continent of Africa, all protection is void.