Četvrtak, 6 Oktobra, 2022
HomeHumorIt’s Been 11 Minutes Since The Onion Was Banned From Twitter. So...

It’s Been 11 Minutes Since The Onion Was Banned From Twitter. So Why Isn’t The Mainstream Media Protecting This?

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A darkness has fallen upon the Fourth Property. It's a darkness solely seen after a nation’s sole beacon of journalistic truth-telling is snuffed out. One would possibly surmise that such an affront to the First Modification would warrant a direct response from lesser information outlet searching for to precise solidarity within the struggle for freedom of the press. But greater than 11 minutes have now handed since The Onion was banned from Twitter, and the mainstream media has not issued a single assertion in our protection.

With out the megaphone of Twitter, The Onion has been successfully silenced, lowered to overlaying its personal digital muzzling merely by means of periodic messages posted on Twitter about its current situation. In the meantime, in an act of outrageous cowardice, not one main information community has featured an interview with our writer emeritus T. Herman Zweibel, nor together with his 5 nonagenarian sons, nor with any of his 147 descendants throughout 5 generations, all of whom maintain nominal government positions at The Onion and stand prepared to provide unique touch upon this gross curtailment of press freedoms.

After all, the media has lengthy abdicated its function in informing the plenty, but by no means in our darkest imaginings did this editorial board conceive of such rank abandonment by its supposed journalistic brothers-in-arms. Sure, they could have trumpeted nonexistent weapons of mass destruction in Iraq or willfully ignored numerous genocides throughout the globe, however such examples pale compared to the outrageous failures on the a part of journalists all over the place to assist The Onion on this pivotal second in world historical past.

The place is the outrage from opinion columnists who dared name themselves defenders of free speech? The place are the boots on the bottom at Twitter headquarters from reporters asking—nay, demanding—that CEO Parag Agrawal reinstate The Onion’s Twitter account and resign instantly? Why has CNN’s Anderson Cooper not vowed to self-immolate if this inexplicable and merciless determination isn't reversed?

Maybe they have no idea that this evident omission will probably be a black mark on journalism for hundreds of years to come back. Maybe they don't see that the probing eyes of the American public are already upon them, questioning why legacy newspapers all over the place have chosen to so conveniently bury probably the most notable story in fashionable media historical past. Maybe what appeared like coincidence after 5 – 6 minutes now appears extra clearly like a conspiracy of stories organizations pushed by sheer profit-seeking and greed, who sense blood within the water and endeavor to destroy the world’s one remaining media juggernaut.

The place is the conscience of The New York Occasions? The place are the moral requirements of the newsroom at The Washington Put up? “Democracy dies in darkness”? Effectively, darkness has certainly fallen upon our nation as we speak. There isn't any illumination solid by the wretched ash heaps of avarice who nonetheless have the gall to name themselves the free press. After all, the nation will flip its weary eyes to The Onion’s protection for solutions on this unsure second, however as we speak—on this darkish and ignominious day—our protection has fallen silent.

Observe alongside @TheOnion on Twitter.com to learn persevering with protection of our banning.

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UPDATE: It has now been 12 minutes since The Onion was banned from Twitter, and the scenario stays unchanged.

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UPDATE: It has now been 13 minutes since The Onion was banned from Twitter, and the scenario stays unchanged.

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UPDATE: It has now been 14 minutes since The Onion was banned from Twitter, and the scenario stays unchanged.

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