In an unprecedented transfer sure to carry the complete tech trade to its knees, The Onion proudly broadcasts this afternoon that it has bought a 0.000000125% stake in Twitter.
Our determination to purchase a stake in Twitter follows a protracted and closely publicized battle with the social media firm. In current hours, we had taken to Twitter to criticize Twitter for banning our Twitter account. However after a public stress marketing campaign didn't receive the outcomes we desired, and we realized it was nearly time to go house for the day, we have been left with no possibility however to take issues into our personal fingers.
The share of inventory we've amassed formally makes The Onion one in every of Twitter’s loudest shareholders. The information has already despatched Twitter shares surging an astounding three factors, the most important one-day achieve ever seen within the inventory market.
We eagerly await our appointment to the board of administrators and stay up for implementing the plethora of concepts we've to enhance the platform, reminiscent of including a “like” button in order that customers can “like” one another’s tweets.
Certainly we are able to all agree that in a democratic society, there may be nothing extra essential than The Onion’s free speech.
The Onion Editorial Board