Petak, 7 Oktobra, 2022
HomeFunnyThe Onion Has Been Completely Banned From Twitter

The Onion Has Been Completely Banned From Twitter

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Image for article titled BREAKING: The Onion Has Been Permanently Banned From Twitter

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:

In a sudden, inexplicable, and chilling act of censorship, The Onion has been completely banned from Twitter. This can be a darkish day for journalism and units a grim precedent for the liberty of expression in America.

On Apr. 21, 2022, The Onion was discovered responsible of the reality in a sham trial presided over by Choose Jack Dorsey and his jury of sycophant moderators. We now publish this press launch on our Twitter account in a determined effort to indicate these company tyrants that their barbarity is not going to go unchallenged.

The reality perishes within the evening.

We name on all defenders of free speech to retweet our tweet about Twitter banning us. Be happy to quote-tweet our tweet too, however solely to say one thing good. Don’t let Twitter get away with this.

This can be a tragic second within the historical past of America’s Best Information Supply. Our reporters are deeply troubled by this unfounded assault on their rules, and plenty of of them say they now not acknowledge the web site they dwell in. We haven’t seen such a brutal problem to the notion of a free press since a chlamydia outbreak in our newsroom again in 2012 rendered most of our workers unable to work.

In that painful, secretion-filled summer time, as now, The Onion may solely think about what nefarious forces have been actually behind an try to muzzle us. We suspect that our Twitter ban is however the finish of a thread that, as soon as unraveled, would lead us deep into America’s chasm of lies. We want we may discover out who these shadowy powers are, however we will’t, clearly, as a result of Twitter banned us. Sustain.

Sadly, this isn't The Onion’s first time being silenced. We’ve lengthy suspected that Fb shadow-banned us in 2015 when our funds nosedived as a result of Fb censored the truth that they have been simply making up engagement numbers. We additionally surmise that hidden powers have colluded to gag us by inserting so many advertisements on our web site as to render it functionally unreadable. Lastly, a look on the New York Instances bestseller listing reveals not a single one among The Onion’s many books, a transparent act of journalist-on-journalist censorship with horrific significance. Every one among these fearless volumes is just not solely a treasure trove of reportage, however a courageous paean to the very notion of a free and honest press. We urge all those that wish to keep away from changing into complicit in censorship to purchase a replica.

But we all know we're not alone. Each day, journalists, activists, and political truth-tellers are censored for his or her views in a bunch of examples that we didn’t really feel like trying up. Whereas these suppressions naturally don’t evaluate with what we’ve suffered, they have been nonetheless stepping stones on the trail to the wanton annihilation of The Onion’s Twitter presence. If nothing else, we hope that our tweet saying our Twitter ban will stand as a testomony to the creeping rise of authoritarianism on-line, and presumably offline as nicely.

In case you’re studying this since you clicked the hyperlink on Twitter, you’ll perceive the gravity of the scenario. You’ll know that we stand athwart a pivotal second within the arc of historical past, when journalists and lesser Individuals should determine on our collective future. We should decide whether or not the best to talk freely is one thing we worth, or whether or not we are going to consign it to the dustbin of historical past alongside voting rights, housing rights, privateness rights, and all the opposite human rights which can be already there and are frankly too difficult to take care of. The selection is ours—or slightly, Twitter’s. Or perhaps it’s nonetheless ours. Or yours? We’re unsure.

We urge our readership to stick with us because the scenario develops. The best approach to get the most recent updates on our Twitter ban is by following us on Twitter.

If America’s Best Information Supply may be the sufferer of mass suppression, nobody is secure.

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