Cassidy Hutchinson, an aide to then-President Trump’s chief of workers, Mark Meadows, testified this week earlier than the Home committee investigating the January 6 riots, providing new details about the actions of Trump and his inside circle that day. The Onion solutions essential questions on who Cassidy Hutchinson is and what she instructed the committee.
Q: Who's Cassidy Hutchinson?
A: Truthfully, at 25, she’s nonetheless figuring that out.
Q: What was her function within the White Home?
A: Correcting Trump that she wasn’t Hope Hicks.
Q: Why did she select to testify?
A: She’s an opportunist making an attempt to kickstart a profession as an expert witness.
Q: What did she reveal about Trump’s conduct?
A: Her account suggests Trump could not have been the level-headed, rational chief most assumed him to be.
Q: Why didn’t Trump need weapons confiscated from his indignant supporters earlier than they marched on the Capitol?
A: We’re nonetheless just a few hearings away from piecing collectively his motivation.
Q: Is it true that Trump threw a meal on the wall?
A: In keeping with the FDA, the objects eaten by Trump are usually not technically “meals.”
Q: What was with that far-off, distant look in Hutchinson’s eye throughout her testimony?
A: She was imagining which actress will painting her in a film three years from now.
Q: What’s subsequent for Hutchinson?
A: Scheduled to testify about former President DeSantis’ coup try throughout 2029 hearings.
Q: So Trump is unquestionably going to jail, proper?
A: Sure. Historical past has confirmed that it’s at all times smart to get your hopes up.
Q: How ought to I really feel concerning the reality she was on board with all the pieces else Trump did up till the election?
A: Simply name her a hero and get on together with your day.