Utorak, 20 Februara, 2024
HomeFunnyRoger Goodell Pronounces Considering Too Arduous About Soccer Has Given Him CTE

Roger Goodell Pronounces Considering Too Arduous About Soccer Has Given Him CTE


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NEW YORK—The NFL group was rocked by one other disclosure of a devastating mind harm Wednesday after commissioner Roger Goodell introduced that considering too laborious about soccer had given him CTE. “It's with unhappiness that I let you know league docs have identified me with persistent traumatic encephalopathy, a situation I developed after repeated ideas to the pinnacle,” Goodell, 63, mentioned in a press release, including that he sought medical consideration Tuesday morning after the choice over whether or not to name a sport between the Buffalo Payments and Cincinnati Bengals on account of a participant going into cardiac arrest on the sector had brought on him to suppose “manner, manner too laborious” about soccer, which induced huge complications accompanied by extreme confusion. “Taking some Tylenol didn’t work, and I instantly felt very offended in any respect the folks asking me about soccer, so I went to the physician. They knowledgeable me that after 16 years as commissioner of the league, repeatedly questioning whether or not soccer is nice or dangerous had given me dozens of concussions. I need to take accountability for my CTE, nevertheless, as a result of I began having concepts about soccer at a younger age, when my mind wasn’t totally developed, and I haven’t at all times worn a helmet after I considered soccer. Now, I’ve sadly thought a lot about soccer that I’m experiencing important reminiscence loss, and even suicidal ideation. I want I had been extra cautious about considering.” At press time, a visibly disoriented Goodell was seen standing nude outdoors NFL headquarters brandishing a handgun and threatening to finish ideas about soccer as soon as and for all.



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