Utorak, 7 Februara, 2023
HomeFunnyVatican Funeral Ends With Ritual Consuming Of Pope Benedict’s Physique

Vatican Funeral Ends With Ritual Consuming Of Pope Benedict’s Physique


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VATICAN CITY—In a requiem mass that adopted strict liturgical protocol for a deceased head of the Roman Catholic Church, the funeral of Pope Benedict XVI reportedly concluded Thursday with the ritual consuming of the previous pontiff’s physique. “Father, into your palms I commend his spirit, as we commend to our stomachs his physique and blood,” Pope Francis stated as he presided over the solemn ceremony at St. Peter’s Basilica, ripping a finger off the late Benedict’s corpse, elevating it up for the Lord’s remaining blessing, after which sucking out the marrow in a church customized believed so far again greater than a thousand years. “Take this, all of you, and eat of it, for that is our pope. Take these arms and these legs, and with their blood let your thirst be quenched. God has made this sacred flesh to nourish us, nevertheless robust and stringy it could be. Don’t be shy, my youngsters, come now—there are nonetheless loads of ribs and shanks left.” At press time, church officers introduced that any leftovers can be became papal jerky and made accessible for a restricted time within the Vatican reward store.

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