The 2022 midterms noticed Republicans achieve management of the Home and the Democrats add one seat to their slim Senate majority, giving rise to concern {that a} divided Congress shall be unable to handle the nation’s most urgent points. The Onion seems to be on the 118th Congress’ high agenda objects for the following two years.
- Amass over 500 hours of footage of FBI and DOJ officers saying they will’t touch upon ongoing investigations
- Get rid of Congress’ weekly drag story hour
- Enhance congressing by 25%
- Exhume and examine the physique of Beau Biden
- Give congressional interns the occasional goosing
- Attempt catering from that new sandwich place
- Examine Instagram for permitting conservatives to submit unflattering images of themselves
- Fund nationwide highway elimination to stop abortion-seekers from leaving states the place it’s banned
- Finish Social Safety so American seniors can be taught worth of arduous day’s work
- Proceed making consultant democracy seem like full dogshit
