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HomeFunnyCongress Considers Banning TikTok After App Makes Each Senator Bulimic

Congress Considers Banning TikTok After App Makes Each Senator Bulimic

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WASHINGTON—Unveiling a possible invoice aimed toward combating what members described as a grave threat to public security, Congress introduced Tuesday that it was contemplating a ban on TikTok after the app made each senator bulimic. “We can't in good conscience proceed to permit the widespread use of an app that gave all 100 senators extreme physique picture points and consuming problems,” mentioned Sen. Mark Warner (D-VA), including that legislative work within the higher chamber of Congress had been dropped at a digital standstill as a result of dozens of senators couldn’t cease scrolling by means of TikTok movies and bursting into tears. “We wished to do a little analysis into TikTok to see for ourselves the way it threatens public safety, however all of us ended up hooked on watching weight-loss and weight-reduction plan TikToks, which made us all really feel actually dangerous about our our bodies. This app merely makes it far too straightforward for customers, together with all 100 United States senators, to develop despair and low vanity. Jon Tester (D-MT) simply ran off saying he didn’t need to see anybody till he’s misplaced 20 kilos, Mitt Romney (R-UT) has been within the lavatory for over 90 minutes, and we simply watched Chris Van Hollen (D-MD) eat a complete chocolate cake. Each Chuck Schumer (D-NY) and Cindy Hyde Smith (R-MI) have unveiled large visible aids counting their energy, and the hashtag #WhatIEatInADay has been trending across the Senate. Chuck Grassley (R-IA) has been doing crunches on the Senate ground, and Debbie Stabenow (D-MI) is begging us all to observe her weight-loss journey on the app. TikTok is, certainly, a rising menace to a useful American society.” At press time, Congress had handed an enormous bipartisan funding invoice to buy slimming capsules they noticed on TikTok.


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