SUITLAND, MD—Saying that at this level she simply puzzled how lengthy it could take everybody to note, U.S. Census Bureau worker Rita Edmond confided to reporters Thursday that, out of sheer boredom, she had modified each Ohio resident’s identify to Laura. “Ever since I randomly determined to do it this morning, all 11.78 million residents of Ohio, no matter gender, age, or race, are named Laura,” stated Edmond, who added that whereas she might simply undo the modifications, she figured it could be far more enjoyable to depart everybody “Laura” and see what occurred. “Look, this job sucks, however this entire ‘Laura’ factor has actually made my week. Everybody who lives in Ohio is Laura. Everybody who has ever died in Ohio is Laura! I feel I’m going to do Oklahoma subsequent. Everybody there can be named ‘Emma.’” At press time, hundreds of thousands of Ohio’s residents had referred to as upon Gov. Laura DeWine to handle whether or not the identify modifications had been an infringement upon their rights as Lauras.
