Whereas the Fox Information host will not be essentially identified for being sincere, textual content messages launched within the Dominion Voting Programs lawsuit present that Tucker Carlson often lies to viewers. The Onion examines Tucker Carlson’s largest lies.
“The QAnon Shaman had IBS.”
Carlson has repeatedly claimed on-air that the QAnon Shaman had IBS and thus had no alternative however to launch his bowels throughout Nancy Pelosi’s workplace, and that anybody who disputed this was merely being ableist.
“I’m a Republican.”
Tucker Carlson has been a registered member of the Inexperienced Social gathering since 1991.
“The Infinity Emerald has fallen into the palms of the Shadow Witch, subsequently all is misplaced.”
No, there's hope: a younger peasant woman from the village, as foretold by the prophecy.
“I'm however a humble manufacturing facility employee from Fairfield, AL.”
Tucker Carlson is a tv host.
“I’d by no means let the brand new woke M&Ms fellate my penis.”
He completely would, in a heartbeat.
“I needed to cease carrying my bow tie attributable to bow tie most cancers.”
Bow tie most cancers is exceedingly uncommon.
“Information exist, and you may say the other of them if you wish to and particularly if it’s profitable to take action.”
This one is definitely true.
“The Jan. 6 insurrectionists have been simply sightseers.”
The Capitol constructing is boring as shit, and in a city with the Lincoln Memorial, the Smithsonian, and the Nationwide Gallery of Artwork, no self-respecting vacationer would waste their worthwhile time sightseeing on the fucking Capitol constructing.
“The Earth is spherical.”
But once more, Carlson proves himself to be a lib in sheep’s clothes.
“I noticed a bug and bought scared.”
It was solely a shadow, though he did get scared.
“Unlawful immigrants are coming right here and stealing our lunches.”
“I've by no means worn my ‘Dancing With The Stars’ shirt once more.”
In truth, Carlson wears the blue, puffy shirt he wore on this system each single evening to mattress.
“Unlawful immigrants hold complimenting my thick, lovely hair.”
Whereas Carlson has repeatedly known as for the deportation of unlawful immigrants, his repeated makes an attempt to make use of them to promote hair dietary supplements is simply pathetic.
“The Lollipop Man from my desires says I’m doing necessary work to shore up American democracy.”
Far be it from us to disagree with the Lollipop Man; nonetheless, on this occasion, he seems to be fibbing.
“Dr. Fauci and Covid-19 are lovers.”
Fauci and the novel coronavirus are work acquaintances and nothing extra.
“I left MSNBC in 2007 and went to Fox as a result of it's useful for individuals who management political methods to have hyper-partisan media shops that interact in direct squabbles with one another, which produces media protection that's about media protection, which refocuses public consideration on media personalities like Rachel Maddow or myself and in the end obscures the actual sources of energy.”
He left MSNBC in 2008, not 2007.
“I hate [Donald Trump] passionately.”
This one isn’t a lot a lie as it's deceptive, because it’s odd to single out Trump among the many 3.5 million of his viewers he completely loathes.
“For a couple of 12 months, I had an affair with the blond ‘Trendy Household’ woman, who left her husband for me regardless that I didn’t depart my spouse for her.”
Whereas it's unfathomable to suppose that not one however two individuals may discover Tucker Carlson fascinating, this one is true.
“When a duck appears to be like prefer it’s sitting on high of the water, that’s simply an phantasm. Underneath the waterline they've these lengthy, horny legs that stand on the river backside in smart heels.”
That is what Fox was overlaying because the Jan. 6 revolt occurred.
“Covid-19 was created by the Wu-Tang Clan.”
Carlson’s assertion that Covid-19 was created in a studio session throughout a Methodology Man verse is unsubstantiated.
“America is a wicked hellhole.”
Whereas technically true, it’s not for the explanations Carlson believes.
“I style nice in between two jelly-slathered items of bread.”
But once more, Carlson has mistaken himself for peanut butter.
“The mainstream media doesn’t need you to know the Brazilian three-banded armadillo exists.”
Details about the Brazilian three-banded armadillo is widespread and simple to seek out on-line.
“Bow ties will not be good for exciting autoerotic asphyxiation and bringing oneself to a shuddering climax.”
He simply by no means discovered find out how to use it accurately.
“The purple M&M groomed me.”
Each time there’s a gradual information day, Carlson claims the purple M&M met him when he was simply 16 years outdated and instantly seduced him.
