WASHINGTON—Recalling the uncontrollable erotic pleasure she skilled whereas watching her husband coordinate an airstrike, Michelle Obama revealed to reporters Monday that drone warfare performed a big half in her and Barack Obama’s psychosexual relationship. “Whereas my love story with Barack is extremely difficult, one factor will all the time be true—neither of us can attain sexual climax with out dropping bombs on Center Jap villages,” mentioned the previous first girl, who added that after eight years of residing within the White Home, the fun of partaking in unmanned warfare and the deep, earth-shattering launch of orgasm have been endlessly, inextricably linked. “Whereas I want it weren’t true, the one means Barack and I may even start to make love is that if we hear the beeping of a goal, the silence of the bomb drop, and, lastly, the explosion. Then, simply once we’re on the sting of orgasm, we hear that sultry voice— ‘Goal eradicated’—and we climax concurrently.” At press time, a sweating Obama needed to excuse herself after her husband texted her a photograph of a bombed Yemeni wedding ceremony.
