The Onion requested Individuals why actual, red-blooded males have been relegated to the dregs of society and changed by weak-willed, female cucks.
Steven White, Musician
“It’s clear that if we wish our struggling younger boys to enhance, we want extra males in positions of energy to look out for his or her pursuits.”
Ken Meadows, Bodily Therapist
“It was once {that a} man would simply silently take care of his issues, however now society forces me to testify in my vehicular murder trial.”
Drew Sharp, Basic Contractor
“Assist! I can’t discover my penis!”
Martin Eckhardt, Public Security Officer
“Our dad and mom failed us. My father by no means taught me how you can open doorways for women; I simply realized how you can open doorways and needed to piece the remainder collectively myself.”
Heather Stein, UPS Driver
“I’m doing my half by undermining the boldness of my daughters.”
Manny Madison, Chef
“The masculinity disaster is much superior to the femininity disaster. It’s simply science.”
Carter Talarski, Mechanic
“The complaints about masculinity being below assault are overblown. I really feel simply as snug being hateful and misogynistic as I did 10 years in the past.”
Matt McGovern, Cashier
“I’m personally not in disaster. My penis is greater than ever.”
Alicia Downing, Trainer
“I wouldn’t name the truth that my husband sometimes does the dishes now a ‘disaster’ per se.”
John Townsend, Carpenter
“They gained’t cease till I take up baking or stitching or one thing helpful and enjoyable like that.”
Jim McGuire, Software program Salesman
“All people simply wants to purchase extra truck nutz.”
Sarah Goodwin, Occasion Planner
“We'd like a brand new battle to toughen up this technology of males and switch them again into emotional black holes of alcoholism and youngster abuse.”
Meghan Chase, Cashier
“I don’t need some effeminate man. I need to marry an actual man who by no means talks to me and ultimately leaves me for a 19-year-old.”
Lauren Vincenzo, Bartender
“It’s a travesty that males don’t have function now that ladies are allowed to work.”
Erin Franco, Nurse
“I guess it’d assist if we girls agreed to share a few of our energy.”
Manny Salgado, Electrician
“Don’t have a look at me. I’m an aggro lunatic.”
Carl Melcher, Taxidermist
“As a pathetic little cuck, I couldn’t be extra excited.”
