MOORESVILLE, IN—Purporting to be proud to reside within the U.S., native resident Jeff Chapman, who spends six hours a day posting about how each metropolis within the nation is a 3rd world hellhole, reportedly acknowledged, “America is the best nation on Earth,” Monday. “Being born within the U.S. is best than profitable any lottery,” mentioned Chapman, who had spent almost two hours on his telephone earlier than he even bought away from bed that morning, posting within the feedback part of a TikTok information to the very best pizza in Chicago about how the city areas the place 80% of the nation’s residents lived had been uninhabitable, anarchic wastelands that ought to be nuked into oblivion. “America is a beacon of freedom. America is a shining metropolis atop a hill. I thank God daily for our [woke groomer] troops. I'll at all times get up for America [when I am not busy accusing millions of Americans of being sociopathic drug dealers and pedophiles who should be shot without trial].” At press time, Chapman was praising the nation as the best failed state within the historical past of the world.
