People Reveal What It’s Like Dwelling With The Woke Thoughts Virus

“I caught it from my son after he went to a college that hadn’t burned all their books.”

“I get up bare each evening inside a Deliberate Parenthood, unable to recollect how I obtained there or what I used to be doing.”

“Now anytime I put on blackface, my pores and skin burns.”

“My spouse obtained it, however she was completely advantageous after I chained her up and locked her within the basement for 2 weeks with out meals or water.”

“I simply want there have been a vaccine for the woke thoughts virus that I may have refused to take.”

“We’re simply hoping that sometime, somebody holds George Soros answerable for doing this to us.”

“The woke thoughts virus brought on a tiny Ibram X. Kendi to burst out of my colleague’s chest after devouring his insides for sustenance. It then jumped into my mouth and I used to be so frightened I by chance swallowed it. I’m afraid the identical destiny will now befall me.”

“I obtained it from a Chick-fil-A sandwich, go determine!”

“Oh, you recognize. I begin the day with a woke bathe after which eat some woke eggs and woke potatoes. Then I placed on my woke pants and woke shirt and hail a woke taxi to job taking pictures woke pornography.”

“I wish to yell racial slurs, however each time I open my mouth, ‘Battle Music’ comes out as an alternative.”

“Nicely, for one, I’m homosexual now. Granted. I used to be earlier than, too. The woke thoughts virus apparently doesn’t actually impact your sexuality, humorous sufficient.”

“There's a tattoo of Kamala Harris the place my penis was once.”

“Frankly, I don’t know the way lengthy I've left. My insurance coverage doesn’t cowl woke thoughts virus.”

“I spent $150,000 changing my eyeballs, tongue, face, and nostril so I appear like an enormous hardcover copy of White Fragility.”

“I feel I solely obtained a light case, as a result of I nonetheless name anybody who doesn’t go on a date with me a whore.”

“I urge for loss of life, however I can't die. I’ve jumped off a 10-story constructing. I’ve tied cinderblocks to my ft and jumped in a lake. I’ve shot myself within the head. Each time, I come to on a liberal faculty campus in a ladies’s research class.”

“The impulse to molest is fortunately saved in a special, unaffected a part of the cortex.”

“I hallucinated that I used to be in a dedicated, long-term relationship with Rosie O’Donnell, and I preferred it.”

“I develop a brand new symptom day-after-day, it’s truthfully a frustratingly incoherent sickness.”

“It spreads by means of a cursed, tattered copy of We Ought to All Be Feminists that retains exhibiting up in your doorstep, irrespective of what number of occasions you throw it away.”

“I feel Black folks ought to be capable to vote. Goodbye. I can’t preserve dwelling like this. These will probably be my last phrases.”

“An immigrant carried it over! An immigrant from elsewhere! Elsewhere has the woke thoughts virus, and the immigrant, who's in fact unclean, introduced the woke thoughts virus from the elsewhere and it now has contaminated my entire household!”

“Hey. Can I be woke?”

“I'm unable to see the American flag.”

“Is the woke virus the factor the place you flip right into a goat at any time when there’s a crimson tide? And you must roam round consuming grass and tree bark with the opposite goats till the crimson tide pulls away? In that case, I've that, yeah.”

“The woke thoughts virus killed my mom, Ruth Bader Ginsburg.”

“You’re not going to love this, however the one antidote is Joe Biden’s semen.”