DEERFIELD, IL—Taking a number of deep breaths earlier than lifting the triple-meat sub up into the air, native man James Randolf requested a spotter Thursday for a very messy sandwich. “Hey, buddy, are you able to give me a hand over right here— this factor is fairly heavy,” stated a sweat-drenched Randolf, who heaved, shook, and moaned whereas trying to carry the wobbling bread filled with roast beef, ham, salami, tomato, and mayonnaise above his chest. “Thanks, man, that factor was crushing me. I assumed I used to be gonna die below there. Oh God. Oh God. I knew I shouldn’t have requested for additional cheese. Really, should you might stick round, I wouldn’t thoughts taking a couple of extra bites.” At press time, Randolf provided to return the favor after noticing his spotter was pinned beneath an extra-sloppy cowboy bacon burger.
