WINSTON-SALEM, NC—His worst fears confirmed after an examination of his pubic area revealed a plague of genital locusts, space man Justin Frausto reportedly known as a number of of his earlier sexual companions Monday to tell them he had contracted the curse of the pharaoh. “Hey, Kaylie! Sorry for the unhealthy information, however I needed to be utterly trustworthy and allow you to know I’ve examined optimistic for King Tut’s Curse,” Frausto mentioned in a voicemail to a girl he had just lately dated, explaining that the pox had doubtless been positioned upon him when he spent the night time within the tomb of an odd mummy earlier this 12 months. “Hopefully you’re within the clear, however you need to undoubtedly get checked out in case you discover a venomous asp in your urine or something like that. A mummy’s curse may cause unhealthy luck, blackened and shriveled genitals, or dying, so I simply needed to provide you a heads-up.” At press time, sources confirmed Frausto had forwarded his earlier sexual companions an inventory of reasonably priced Egyptian excessive monks within the space.