Ohio Voters Narrowly Defeat Measure That Would Nuke Ohio

COLUMBUS, OH—In a fiercely contested vote that had escalated stress amongst advocates on either side of the problem, Ohio voters narrowly defeated a measure this week that will have required the federal government to detonate nuclear warheads all through the state. “What this final result reveals is that even in a extremely polarized nationwide surroundings, native points corresponding to whether or not or to not vaporize the whole inhabitants of Ohio can nonetheless win out,” stated political strategist Sarah Tennenbaum, who described the 53% vote in opposition to dropping atomic bombs on each main metropolis and city all through Ohio as a “wake-up name” for native supporters of the Nuke Ohio platform. “Regardless of President Biden’s flagging approval ranking, we’ve seen Ohio voters throughout the political spectrum rally and make their voices heard on the obliteration of each man, girl, and little one in a catastrophic hellfire. Actually, getting dissolved in a 100-kiloton nuclear blast appears to be one of many few points left that may unify voters.” At press time, the Ohio Supreme Courtroom had voted 4-3 to overturn the measure on constitutional grounds and let the nukes fly.