WASHINGTON—With shards of glass flying because the 2-year-old German shepherd crashed by a window, White Home workers reportedly panicked Wednesday after an apparently unstoppable Commander Biden burst with out warning into the Oval Workplace. “No, boy, no—oh God!” a Secret Service agent screamed an prompt earlier than the not too long ago exiled first canine vaulted off a settee and ripped out his throat, splattering blood on the Resolute desk as all remaining personnel fled from the room. In accordance with sources, Secret Service brokers opened fireplace at Commander because the president’s pet charged down a hallway towards them at an estimated 35 miles per hour, their eyes widening in terror and their fingers trembling as they seen their ammunition was solely bouncing off the canine’s coat. Eyewitnesses confirmed the seemingly unkillable animal had gained at the least 200 kilos of muscle since he was faraway from the manager residence final month. At press time, Commander was stated to have smashed down the metal door of the White Home’s subterranean bunker, the place he was seen wagging his tail and dropping the top of a Secret Service agent at President Joe Biden’s toes.