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In its rush to churn out sufficient content material to maintain the plenty from ever opening a guide and/or expressing hopes and desires to a cherished one, Hollywood doesn’t all the time train the highest quality management. Sure, loads of mainstream films and TV reveals are fairly darn craptacular, however due to the web’s infinite provide of unpaid labor, some followers have labored tirelessly to give you ridiculous theories that make these horrible tales appear approach higher looking back, like how…
‘Cats’ Takes Place After a Some Sort of Apocalypse
Even die-hard furries seemingly had hassle having fun with Cats, much more so after the butthole edit. It was a infamous cinematic catastrophe, giving us each Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber’s traditional songs and a CGI-tweaked James Corden-kitty getting hit within the junk.
Despite the fact that sitting by way of this film is arguably extra dangerous to at least one’s well being than watching that VHS tape from The Ring, not less than one principle makes the movie way more fascinating/existentially terrifying. As Syfy identified, whereas the unique stage musical model of Cats takes place “in a junkyard at nighttime with nobody round,” the film expanded the story’s locales, discovering the titular creatures dancing in theaters, homes and even in the course of London’s Trafalgar Sq. — but weirdly, not a single human being is ever seen.
Coupled with the truth that a number of human buildings have seemingly been rebranded as cat-centric companies, together with the “Grand Feral Lodge,” clearly one thing bizarre (aside from actually the whole lot else) is happening right here. Had been all of the people killed off by human-sized cat-people, who probably saved the smaller cat-people we see within the film as pets?
The idea additional speculates that the bigger cat-people have been raptured (which is why they’re not within the film), and the ‘lil cat-people are trying to hitch them, with the assistance of the Egyptian cat God Bastet, statues of whom may be seen all through the movie.
Certain, it’s a little bit on the market, however is it any extra on the market than the concept of a bunch of A-list stars willingly agreeing to sing present tunes on digital camera whereas carrying skin-tight costumes with digital fur?
Paul Blart Dies Earlier than the Finish of ‘Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2’
Satiating America’s rabid starvation for extra Blart-based cinema, 2015 gave us Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2, the follow-up to the film predicated on the notion {that a} mustachioed Kevin James driving a segway is hilarious.
One individual on Reddit believes that they've found unknown layers of that means behind this god-awful sequel, theorizing that Paul Blart truly dies partway by way of the film. In the event you’re one of many blessed souls who hasn’t seen PBMC 2, in a single scene, Blart hides in a bizarrely big, bulletproof suitcase, however then by chance falls right into a swimming pool. Even Paul Blart admits: “That is it.”
So what if Blart actually did drown? Certain, the entire “they have been secretly lifeless the whole time” twist has been completed to, nicely, dying, however the film could give us a couple of clues hinting at Paul’s grim destiny. For one factor, we by no means truly see how Paul escapes from the suitcase; he simply inexplicably seems on the floor of the pool, unhurt. In the meantime, the scene proper after his near-drowning finds Paul donning literal angel wings, a symbolic trace that Paul is admittedly within the afterlife.
Which means that the tip of the film is only a fantasy by which Paul is ready to reside out his desires and wrap up his Earthly enterprise earlier than ascending into the unknown (therefore why there’s by no means been a Paul Blart: Mall Cop 3).
‘Fuller Home’ Is Michelle’s Coma Dream
Full Home was a dumb present that is still a nostalgic favourite for ‘90s youngsters who used the Tanner household’s hijinks to drown out the sound of their mother and father preventing. However the latest spin-off, Fuller Home, is even perhaps worse. Like, did we actually have to see Stephanie drive a automotive by way of the kitchen wall and miraculously not kill anybody a second time?!
One of many oddest points of the present is that the youngest Tanner sibling, Michelle, is rarely seen and barely even referenced. In actuality, it's because the Olsen twins are busy doing… no matter it's they do. However one principle suggests that every one of Fuller Home is admittedly Michelle’s coma dream.
This might clarify the dearth of Michelle: It’s a dream by which the dreamer is processing their very own absence. It could additionally clarify the present’s inconsistencies and regurgitated storylines. And it’s not like that is coming completely out of nowhere. As we’ve talked about earlier than, the ultimate episode of Full Home includes Michelle getting in a extreme horseback driving accident and being knocked out chilly.
So what if she by no means awakened? Does that make roughly sense than Michelle curing her extreme mind harm by hugging her doppelganger?
‘Two and a Half Males’ Has a ‘Battle Membership’-esque Twist
Chuck Lorre, who's by some means nonetheless not in jail for the psychic harm attributable to Younger Sheldon, famously created Two and a Half Males, the massively well-liked sitcom that's about as humorous as a jagged metallic kidney stone. One Redditor’s principle not less than manages to seek out some attention-grabbing components within the present, speculating that Jon Cryer’s character Alan is hallucinating the character of Charlie following a psychological breakdown attributable to his divorce. Maybe as a result of his actual brother died when Alan was youthful (and maybe as a result of he had simply watched each Sizzling Pictures! films on cable).
This could clarify why Alan is by some means in a position to preserve residing in his brother’s seashore home after Charlie was killed by a subway prepare. The home is purchased by Ashton Kutcher’s billionaire character Walden, who… then lets this stranger proceed residing there rent-free? No, in accordance with the speculation, Walden is known as a mental-health skilled introduced in to watch Alan.
Alan’s deteriorating psychological state might additionally shed some gentle on that one random musical quantity:
Talking of deteriorating psychological schools…
In ‘Batman & Robin,’ The Riddler Turned Everybody in Gotham Metropolis right into a Moron
Batman & Robin is clearly a really foolish film stuffed with ice puns, rubber nipples and scenes of the Darkish Knight utilizing a Bat Credit score Card at an impromptu bachelorette public sale.
However Batman & Robin seemingly nonetheless takes place inside the identical continuity of the earlier three movies, that includes a number of actors reprising their roles, together with Michael Gough as Alfred. Which is bizarre contemplating how unrelentingly darkish these first two films are. And whereas Batman Without end was admittedly a tad campy, in Batman & Robin, everybody in Gotham all of the sudden appears to be performing like a cartoon character on peyote.
One fan posited that this could possibly be the results of the Riddler’s scheme in Batman Without end, which concerned sucking the intelligence out of each citizen's mind utilizing his invention: “The Field.”
Whereas Batman (and, to a lesser extent, Robin) in the end put a cease to Riddler’s plan, it positive looks as if he already did loads of harm by that time. And if the overwhelming majority of Gothamites have been made dumber by the occasions of Batman & Robin, it now is smart why most characters are so bafflingly incompetent. To not point out why the Metropolis Council determined to approve a bunch of huge, bare, probably hazardous statues in the course of a busy metropolis.
You (sure, you) ought to comply with JM on Twitter (if it nonetheless exists by the point you’re studying this).
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